deviant art

Deviant Login Shop  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
[x]
Download File
HTML, 2.3 KB
more ▶

More from ~artfreak959

Featured in Groups:

Details

July 17, 2011
2.3 KB
Link
Thumb

Statistics

Comments: 9
Favourites: 3 [who?]

Views: 149 (1 today)
Downloads: 1 (0 today)
[x]
Wu could not fully understand what her papa was telling her. A sister? She was going to have a sister? She tugged on her papa's beard.

"I don't un'stand Papa. How you getting me a sissy?" The toddler was three years old and was so innocent that Li couldn't scold her for the insistent tugging.

"A kind friend has brought you a sister my Lotus Blossom." He whispered, stroking the long silky black hair that he helped Wu to brush diligently each night. "Her name is Dawn Star. Would you like to meet her?" Wu's nodded so hard and fast Li thought she might just hurt herself.

"Oh pwease Papa! I wanna see my sissy!" Li chuckled and stood up, gently tucking Wu behind him, so the child would be surprised. Hui the Brave slid the screen door to his room open and slipped in, Dawn Star's hand in her own.

Dawn Star had thin black hair that Hui had gently brushed back into a low ponytail. The child wore a thin tunic and had wide, scared brown eyes. Just a few days apart in age, the two three year olds, Wu and Dawn Star were fascinated with each other.

To Dawn Star, Wu looked like an angel. With her tanned skin from being outside all day with the students of Li's school to her big brown eyes that seemed to take up most of her face, she was so 'pwetty'. Her long, luscious black hair spilled down her back and seemed to float around her like a halo, hanging down past her waist and being tossed around wildly by the squirming child. Wu was reaching around Li towards Dawn Star.

To Wu, Dawn Star was 'pwetty'. She was very thin and had a pale complexion. She looked like the porcelain doll that Smiling Mountain had given her for her third birthday. Wu had often brushed the doll's hair and stared and stared at it, wishing it would come play with her so she wouldn't have to watch the older kids spar all day. Now she could play, and not just with the older kids who did it to humor her. She could tell they would rather be fighting. She was young, not stupid.

Dawn Star reached around Hui to accept Wu's hand.
"Pwetty!" both girls said at once, then fell into fits of giggles as they had already found something similar between them.
:iconartfreak959:
ahhh more Jade Empire fan fiction. im still on my mass effect kick, but ive had a few requests from friends for more of this so...here u are guys. enjoy!

i do not own any characters or Jade Empire. they are all copyright to Bioware
Add a Comment:
 
:icondowmodder:
Awwww! :iconloveloveplz: I... It`s so beautful! I... Damn it I`m the reviewer and I`m speechless! I usually have a lot to say, but this...

Honestly - the best story I`ve read ever. It is unique! It`s not long, not very deep, but... I can`t describe what it made me feel. So touching, so kind and gently piece of the art... :love: I can`t get over it - and that manner of kid`s speech you used: 'pwetty'! Oh my God it covers everything, my friend! :la:

You even mentioned the Smiling Mountain -I like this pal, he is kind and... big! :D big good-natured! ;-) The immersion is superb, my friend - I already said in my previous comment `bout how well you write Jade Empire, this prooved o be another prof... (Sorry for this taftologiya ^^;)

Honestly - well done, thank you for sharing this gorgeous story!

P.S. What`s your name? I`m Pinat, or Ren for friends. ;-)
Reply
:iconartfreak959:
~artfreak959 Aug 23, 2011  Student Writer
im glad u enjoyedit!! i actually don't remember what inspired this story, and i definatly thought Dawn Star was annoying...but i do like the bond she has with Wu (or whoever) in the game. thx once more!
Reply
:icondowmodder:
Always a pleasure! :D
Reply
:iconxephinetsa:
=Xephinetsa Jul 18, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
This... is really cute. I love how you portrayed Wu and Dawn Star's first meeting. You made "Master" Li seem almost nice, but it was all a part of his plan. The giggling at the end was a nice touch, I like how they immediately take a liking to one another.

One thing, though: Wu was the very first student at the school. The school was started with her, since Li took her away with him. So, how would there already be older students training? I suppose this is fan-fiction, though. So it doesn't really matter.

Well done~ <3
Reply
:iconartfreak959:
~artfreak959 Jul 18, 2011  Student Writer
thanks and master li actually took over from another master. i know the old master in the spirit cave was a master, but i also think if u talk to old ming by the beach he says something about master li taking over from another man.
thanks again for the comment! its really nice to have ur support!
Reply
:iconxephinetsa:
=Xephinetsa Jul 18, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome.
Yeah, the "Old Master" you meet in the Spirit Cave, right? I just assumed that the students that train with you are new and came after you did. The older ones would have died or left? I wonder how much time there was between the Old Master's death and Li's arrival. I suppose since it's fan fiction you can write what you like. :P

:hug:
Reply
:iconartfreak959:
~artfreak959 Jul 19, 2011  Student Writer
8p i guess, but it would be interesting to know the actual details
Reply
:iconxephinetsa:
=Xephinetsa Jul 20, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Yeah, but since they aren't in the game, us fans have the room to make things up.
Reply
:iconartfreak959:
~artfreak959 Jul 20, 2011  Student Writer
yeppers 8D
Reply
Add a Comment: